One of our first dates San Francisco, our wedding day in 2000, & our 10th anniversary (From top left)
Last week my husband, Scott, and I celebrated our fourteenth wedding anniversary. It's not a huge number, not even a milestone, and yet I was surprised at how I felt about it. We had plans for a romantic evening, and were looking towards an alfresco dinner at Red Tavern, sipping champagne, listening to live music and enjoying each other. We do romance pretty well, when we are in the mood for it, but looking towards our evening was not just about the romance. The deep-seated joy I felt, on the day of our anniversary, had more to do with a contentment and satisfaction at making our marriage work, at sticking with our marriage, through the difficult times, along with the good.
Young love tends to be uncomplicated, as it was for me at age 20, when I married my first boyfriend. Eventually heartbreak, failure, and divorce can leave us wounded, cautious and with walls up. Mid-life love is inherently more complicated, on the heels of failed or lost love, often with children, and the blending of generations, as part of the mix. For those of us living in blended families, parents and children alike, we understand the challenges, as well as the joys of making it all work, and growing into family.
On the day of our anniversary a dear friend, in a new marriage herself, sent me a text, "You guys are so beautiful together. You inspire me to keep working on marriage!". That text was incredibly meaningful to me. My friend knows how hard we've worked to get to this place of peace and contentment in our marriage, and we still have our pitfalls, just like we all do. At this stage in life we've either seen it, been there, done that or danced right on the edge, along the road of relationships. I know this to be true, there is very little a dedicated couple cannot heal or repair in a marriage. It takes commitment, a sense of humor and humility. It takes courage to be the first one to say "I'm sorry" and "Let's move on from this difficult place and get back to who we are". It takes humility to seek tools when needed, to be the peacemaker and not the winner. That's the thing about marriage, the grass isn't greener, you just trade it for a different pasture, in most cases. Since this is my 'three's a charm' marriage, I do speak from authority on this one. Marriage is worth the commitment and it's worthy of celebrating every milestone. Cheers to you, Scotty! Saying 'yes' was the best decision of my life!
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For our night out, to celebrate our anniversary, I chose a black jumpsuit, caged sandals, Marc Jacobs rose-gold watch, an animal print clutch from Banana Republic, and a vintage long gold necklace. This is a 'go to' look for date night for me. This jumpsuit is so versatile. I also pair it with a linen jacket to change-up the look for daytime.
I find conversations about relationships and marriage fascinating, it must be the psychologist in me.
Each of our experiences is so unique.
What have you learned along the journey of relationships?
We're savoring the golden days of summer at my here!
New arrivals from Spain and Portugal!