Our wedding Day, September 2000
*Make time for each other - unplug from technology, turn off the TV, schedule time with each other if you have to. Scott and I have a standing date for Friday nights. Not only do we make sure it happens, there is something exciting about anticipating that special time with each other. It's a good way to connect after a busy week, and is the perfect kick off the weekend in a connected way.
*Surprise each other - it could be something as simple as a loving (or sexy text) or checking in for no reason. This simple surprise bouquet from the garden made me swoon recently. #no cost #big pay back.
*Get away together - there is something about leaving the bills, dishes, laundry behind that is a definite mood enhancer. A beachy escape is one of my favorite ways to ensure we will keep that spark alive. If time or budget is the issue, it could be as simple as a picnic in the park. An alfresco spread of cheeses, a baguette, crudite, and a bottle of chilled wine, on a blanket in the shade, can definitely get the sparks flying.
Riviera Maya 2012
*Pick 'your song' as a couple (this may sound sappy) - The first song you danced to (it was 'When a Man Loves a Woman' for us) or the one that reminds you of early, happy times. Don't we all have one or two? Our song is Etta James 'At Last' played at our wedding. The promise is to dance to it each, and every time, we hear it. It's not convenient when you are a little miffed at each other or at Home Depot (a bit embarrassing) but it's a fun promise my husband made to me on our wedding day and we always smile and have to dance. It's always a good 'icebreaker' to have it on the iPod for a quick play to enhance a good mood or ease a bad one.
*Try something new - cook together, do yoga, take a dance class, learn to scuba dive, fly fish, or my new goal, paddle boarding, on our trip to the Dominican Republic this summer. Learning together can be exhilarating and fun.
*Turn-taking-if you end up feeling like you are the 'only one' trying for a little romance I have a tip. Set the stage-plan the evening out, the weekend away or that gourmet dinner at home-make it a good one. You do it this time, and your partner will be in charge of the next one. I've found this shared responsibility can end up being a nice balance, and a good reminder. I had a time, in my previous life, where we would alternate country outing or city outing (he was little country and I was a bit city). Turn taking is the perfect way to honor diverse tastes, and get the spark flowing.
Riviera Maya 2012
It's easy to look at another couple out on the town and think, look how romantic they are all the time. I laugh to think I've even heard that about my husband and myself from friends. We definitely have our 'fizzle' times just like everyone, believe me. Sometimes we have to work hard at it. However, having had some painful experiences in our previous lives, we now know enough to make it a value in our relationship.
*My best tip is kindness - Be kind to each other and that sets the stage for romance. If you don't keep that fire kindled on a regular basis the fire will eventually go out. The good news is keeping the spark alive is rewarding, plus, a little romance keeps us young.
Thank you for the question lovely reader.
Let me know if any of the tips work for you.
What are your best tips for keeping the spark alive?
Let's keep the conversation going.
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