A Letter to George Clooney

George Clooney Vanity Fair  George Clooney Vanity Fair

You've already heard the news that George Clooney is engaged (updated: and now getting married). Some of you have probably been expecting me to hold a press conference, or at least make a statement about this whole 'engagement' thing.  As with most of our news these days, I got a simple text that rocked my world last weekend.  It was from my sister, Dorie, who clearly wanted to let me down easy in her own grief.

Text on George Clooney's engagement

Rather than regale you with my thoughts on the subject I feel compelled to share them with George in an open letter:

  Dear George, I think I can speak for millions of women, and a few men, that we were pretty blindsided by this news. It's been described as the "shock heard around the world". I was concerned when I heard you were fighting with that casino guy in Vegas last week, but we all have our moments (you do make tequila, after all, I get it). I've always been clear that I have a special place in my heart for you only because we are almost exactly the same age, bravely turned 50 at the same time a couple of years ago, have some gray in our hair (I color mine), and we both love Italy and Los Cabos. I tried to be neighborly and hung out on the beach outside your villa in San Jose del Cabo last year. We were staying next door at Secrets Marquis, and legend has it that you stop by sometimes to hang out with guests. I just wanted to save you the trouble here. In February my husband and I were in Los Cabos again and I visited Flora's Farm Kitchen. Though I didn't see you in person, I spoke with someone who had attended your legendary Cabo parties here. I finally got inside your Mexican villa here. There was that unfortunate  'Win a Date with George Clooney'  for charity that I donated to ---5 times. I even prepped for the red carpet experience with you. I hope you let that woman who won, and her little girl, down easy on that 'date'. We just knew that was never going to happen.  

George Clooney


I think we all felt you were pretty much a 'confirmed' bachelor. With that smile......ahhh, that smile..... and those good looks, we doubted you were lacking in female attention, even during your 'single' days ;). You were our charming 'bad boy' that couldn't help himself. Though there's really nothing 'bad' about a villa on Lake Como or being besties with Cindy Crawford and Rande Gerber, but you know what I mean. Thank goodness those Italian cut suits from the 1960's are in style right now because it helps with the whole movie star vibe-Cary Grant anyone??

George Clooney's villa

 Vanity Fair

Oh, I know.....many of us fantasized about living in that villa on Lake Como.......

George Clooney in boat


 and doing this............


Though still reeling from this unexpected news, I have a few questions for you. What could possibly make a 'confirmed bachelor' change his mind so quickly? You and Stacy Keibler haven't been apart that long, though she did rush off to a marriage and a baby (thank goodness he's wealthy-helps to balance the scale just a bit). She put in her time, for sure, but it just wasn't meant to be.


Yes, you do stand out from the crowd........

As for your current 'flirtation''. She's beautiful, tall, long-legged (so was Stacy Keibler) and is also reportedly brilliant and a lawyer. She's from London-I agree that is so posh, so international. She speaks 5 or 10 languages fluently.....I mean who doesn't??? 

Okay, we get all that....we really do.

George Clooney on boat with arms crossed


Now don't be cross, George, but the question is really about you. How did she change your mind, and more importantly your heart? Our 'bad boy' has fallen, his heart has been stolen, and we didn't know that it was possible. We hear you had to ask her out three times before she said "yes", but those are just rumors. Is it three's a charm? Is it playing hard to get?  I guess sometimes things just click or maybe it's all about the timing. Maybe you are the one that changed your heart.

George Clooney philosophyvia

So George, despite all we've had in common, and our near misses over the years.........(remember dancing together at DC-3 in Santa Monica in the early 1990's? At least I think that was you). I'm going to have to let you go. In the end, I just want everyone to be happy (and that includes my other exes too). Some may call you and I 'repeat offenders' in love, but I prefer to think of us as hopeful.

Learn from the mistakes and, in the end, be happy.

I can speak for millions of women, and a few men, we will always miss you being our 'back burner guy'.

Best wishes to you and Amal on the engagement!

P.S. Did you ever get that colonoscopy? We are 53-hello?

Update 9/25/14:

On the eve of your wedding in Venice this weekend, we still miss you being our 'back burner' guy,

but we wish you and Amal every happiness. Here's hoping this one's the 'happily ever'.

You deserve it!

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